Homemaking comes with challenges in everyday life, but in seasons of grief and loss, even the smallest of tasks can feel hard. Find practical tips and advice for homemaking during grief.

This post was written from my experience and is intended for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services.

Rest Over Perfection

This is the one area where you need to give yourself lots of grace, especially if you have high standards and/or are a perfectionist.

Now is not the time to reorganize or declutter. Instead, keep household tasks at a minimum so you can get lots of rest and time to mourn.

Try to keep things as simple as possible and focus on the essentials, like laundry, dishes, and meals.

This might be a good time to use disposable paper plates and use a pre-cooked meal instead of making meals from scratch.

Try to focus on keeping shared spaces like the living room, bathrooms, etc. neat. But don’t feel like you have to stick to your regular routine of cleaning.

Simplify Meals

If you have freezer meals, now’s the time to use them. If you don’t have them, opt for easy meal solutions like canned goods, fresh pre-cut veggies & frozen vegetables.

Freezer vegetables can be made into a nutritious soup. Lentils with turmeric and coconut cream make for a filling, hearty meal.

Give yourself some grace if you keep high standards as to what you eat or foods to avoid. Unless there are allergies or health restrictions, it’s okay to choose the easier, maybe less nutritious, option this time.

Prepare for Unexpected Needs

These tips might not be useful during times of grief, but they are helpful to prevent last-minute stress before a funeral.

If you have children, it’s a good idea to always have a set of formal clothes ready. The days before a funeral are stressful and intense, but if you already have a nice set prepared, that’s one less thing to worry about.

Also, it might be nice to reduce out-of-doors activities, like sports and children’s (music) classes, for a week or so. This gives you more time to focus on the essentials and reduce the extra stress of getting ready, leaving on time, etc.

It’s nice not to have to worry about dinner after a busy day. So, if at all possible, make sure you always have something in the freezer. This can be as simple as a few store-bought pizzas or a homemade casserole.

Seek & Accept Support

Everyone’s needs are different, especially during times of grief. Even though you might feel like you want to spend all day in bed under your blanket, it might be nice to have someone who can help you.

Even though you might not feel like it, let people help you. People often want to help in some way. Be clear to others about what you & your family need.

If you need company, tell them. If you need just a meal or some groceries, tell them. If you’re simply looking for a meal and want to enjoy some quiet time, don’t hesitate to let those around you! Communicate your needs to friends & family. People want to help but don’t always know how. It’s totally okay to let others know what you need.

Lastly, people can feel uncomfortable around the loss of a loved one and unsure of how to behave. Be gentle and gracious if someone tries to show sympathy but might do it in a clumsy or even hurtful way.

A Quiet Home

When you lose a loved one, there are tears, memories, and stories to share. It can help to make a special space in the home with pictures and things that remind you of your loved one.

Also, keeping a journal can be healing. It can be comforting to read about the days before the funeral after a few weeks. Days pass quickly, and being able to read back how you felt, what you prayed for, and other things you shared can help you find comfort later.

Everyone deals differently with grief and loss, so be mindful of your family members. Keep the conversation open. Here are 10 gentle ways to start a conversation during times of loss:

• “How do you feel today?”
• “How are you feeling about [name]’s passing?”
• “It’s okay to feel sad and cry if we lose someone we loved. It shows we care.”
• “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
• “You can always come to me if you want to talk.”

• “I’ve been thinking about you. How are you holding up?”

• “Would you like to share a favorite memory of [name]?”
• “Is there anything specific on your heart today?”
• “How can I support you right now?”
• “Would you like some company, or would you prefer some quiet time?”

Tips for Grieving as a Homemaker

Everyone deals differently with loss and grief. It’s okay to let go of standards in hard times like these; focus on the essentials and let the rest go.

Give those around you room to grieve & reach out for help if you feel like you could use some. Be gracious to people offering help, and try to be clear in sharing your needs.

All in all, times of grief and loss can be tough and take up a lot of our energy as homemakers. It’s okay to let go for a while and focus on essentials. Find a balance between keeping up with creating a nurturing home and giving yourself ample room to grieve and heal.

“To every thing there is a season,… A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn,..” – Parts of Ecclesiastes 3 verses 1 & 4.